secretramblingsofapastorswife

Dear Shunt, I hate you! Hate you. Hate you. Hate you. But for real. I hate you. I hate you because you put fear in me like I've never felt before. Every headache, every puke, every virus that hits my son makes me shake in fear because I think its you.My mind immediately jumps to you.  I think this is the moment, the moment you have failed us. Every day of exhaustion. Every bad therapy day. Every off day for my son, my mind goes to you. I hate you for that.  I hate you for all the false alarms. All the CT scans that seemed unnecessary. All the ER visits and sleepless nights that weren't needed. I hate you for real.   I hate you for the moments you've stolen from my family. I hate you for the fun things you've messed up.  I hate you because tomorrow you will be replaced. Because today we found out that you really did fail us. Today the fears, the CTs, the pukes, the headaches, the shaking eyes all came together and this was the moment I feared the most. And h

Ministry looks so so different from what I thought it would. For one it hurt a lot more. For two I seemed to be doing a lot less of it than I thought. As a 16 year old newly converted atheist to Jesus follower I was ready to serve Him and serve Him forever and ever. My dream was youth ministry, a Pastors family. I went on missions trip after missions trip. Visitations, activities, worked at a Christian Camp 2 summers. Met my husband there (who was studying to get his degree in Bible). I was in school studying to help churches, work hard and give everything I got to whatever church God brought us to. And God did. He brought us to Texas but before that He allowed some things to take place.... Grace. We were right before our 1 year anniversary or right after (i can never remember this type of stuff) when I found out that I was pregnant with Grace. I was so close to getting my degree but I knew that my plans had changed from the moment I looked at those pink lines. We had

 Recently Ive seen post after post after post about things that offend people, hurt people, bother people. And granted there are some good ones and worthy ones to be upset about. We all know about the Kanye West mess. It was ridiculous and idiotic of him and honestly if for some crazy reason (heaven help me) that was Toby sitting there at his concert I would have flipped my lid for my child to be pointed out and put on the spot, humiliated and otherwise.  and really doesn't he just look like a total jerk. I originally had mixed emotions about the whole thing when I first started watching all the shares and posts popping up.  At first horrified and then just irritated that there was ONE MORE THING that I had to get all witchy about. Was it just a harmless mistake that was turned into a big deal by the lovely media.  But then as I thought on it more it really was a big deal. It really was offensive and wrong.  Andrew Morrison-Gurza    had a fantastic response to the whole thi