secretramblingsofapastorswife

So I've been reading a book, "When life is hard." And Ive been talking a lot about trials and other things. And I'm sure from the outside most would assume they know all my trials, they assume I'm talking about Toby and things going on with the house. The thing is there are trials that people go through that I'm reminded are "secret trials." The things that are too big, too personal, too private to put out there on a blog, facebook or prayer sheet even. Its been a reminder to me that there are hurting people everywhere. That there are things going on in homes and hearts of people we consider friends that we might never know about or understand. We might should be more understanding towards people For me as a Pastors wife I take a kind of pride in sharing my trials. To open up and be honest when things get hard because I think there is such beauty and healing in that. But in this past month Ive come to realize that can not always be the case. I hav...

So today has been a doozy. And Im sitting down to type only during rest time. There is much more day left What must the rest of the day hold!?? Today started with a trip to the skate park as we try to find ways to get outside with Toby’s wheelchair. It’s challenging to find something for 3 very active kids and 1 kid who wants to be active but cant right now. I’m starting this process of getting out more with lots of fear. Well, off to the park where Grace chips her tooth in the first 5 minutes of being there. Not just any tooth. The front permanent one. Oh JOY! Then a promise to the library. The library is closed till 12. Uh oh. Then off to Walmart with the process of a new awesome craft staring me in the face just waiting to be made with the write crafting products. That’s when it hit me. The sharp, double over, make you want to die, not sure what end its going to be. Right at the check out line. I literally ran for it. Shamefully ran the bathroom down with 3 kids in a bu...

Its been long past time to do this. For a while this blog was called, "Raising Toby." I loved it. It was all about raising Toby. It was my spot to spill out hardships, victories, fears and joys. However, I stopped writing for a while. One reason being there wasnt much to write. We were at a stand still. We were just in cruise control with Toby. And it felt really weird to be writing only about one child when I have four children and another on the way. There was so much more to our life then Spina Bifida and Toby's special needs. So why now? Well, honestly there has been so much on my mind and my heart. So many things I want to say, to respond to, to just straight up talk about. And sometimes there's no time and sometimes there just isnt an ear right there to be available. And well my poor husbands ears could probably use a break. So this post is purely introduction. Purely hey here I am, but it might look a little different, sound a little different and be a litt...

It has been a while since Ive written here. Okay a ridiculously long while. But I havent given up on blogging. My computer has been ummm weird to say the least and well when it takes 2 hours to type something that should take 25 minutes it kinda makes it not seem worth it to blog. (especially with four kids) However, Its time to write regardless of what the computer is doing. I’ve had lots of time to think on how to word this and honestly Ive hesitated on a number of occasions to write this in fear of it “coming out the wrong way.” But its now or never right? So let me tell you one thing first. I am a supporter of Spina Bifida Organizations. I know they are helpful. I know that people work hard to raise money for these organizations. I know that SBA helps people with spina bifida. Spina Bifida is close to my heart. As is cancer and autism. I’m sure lots of you remember me selling shirts to raise money for awareness of SBA. I still believe in those shirts making a difference. I believe...

Today was a big day!! Toby got his first wheel chair a little before his second birthday. Toby stopped using that chair at his third birthday. Not because he needed a new one, but because he didnt need one at all. It's been sitting in our garage collecting dust. (dont worry we will be donating it to a worthy cause) But after over 2 years over no wheelchair. And after much discussion. We decided it was time for a chair again. Not because he's not still amazing us. Not because he doesnt prove doctors wrong all the time. Not because he isnt walking amazing well. It was just time. There comes a time when a 5 year old is just too big to be held. Too big to be put in a stroller. There comes a time when a 5 year old little boy wants desperately to keep up with all of his friends. This is toby waiting for his chair. This is toby trying desperately to get a glimpse of his chair when the door opened. we've waited at least a couple months. Toby slightly irritated because he was so ex...

wow it's been a while!!! since January!!! awww im a bad blogger!! well, mother's day a good day to start back. I'm sitting here at the end of the day, a long day. All the kids are in bed, hopefully sleeping and I just read a great post over at the SBkids blog and it just got me thinking. You know something makes me proud, prouder than usual on mother's day. It's being a mom of a child with special needs. I'll be honest there have been times I want to hide those needs from the world. (not my best moments) but then there all times when I want to shout it. Mother's day makes me want to shout it. I go through most days just living life, just doing what we do. Dealing with therapists galore, doctor's appointments, new medical junk, finding place for new medical junk, braces, splints, scolosis. and I just deal and keep going. There are few friends that have the ummmmm bad chance of answering their phone when I'm having a bad day. You know, those bad days w...

There are heros out there. Real ones. I'm not just talking firefighters, police officers and people in spandex. : ) I'm talking the average person being a hero. (which then of course makes them no longer average.) I have a hero right now. She wouldnt know it if I didnt tell her. She might even wonder why. She might laugh and walk away quickly to avoid any blubbering long thank yous from me. But she's competely and totally my hero. (which then of course would make her a heroine) The fact that she doesnt walk around letting everyone know how amazing she is just makes her that much more amazing. Now to the story: My husband is the director of the Upwards Basketball Program at our church. I have a love/hate relationship with Upwards. Its a great program but it takes a lot of time. This year Gracie wanted to play basketball. We decided to let her but a part of me worried to sick about it. Toby's favorite game is basketball. FAVORITE. Toby cant play upwards. 1. he's too...