Monday, December 23, 2013

a week from today

A week from today.

A week from today we should know something. SOMETHING!!  at least more than what we know now.

A week from today Wren has her eye appointment with her ophthalmologist.

A week from today I'm hoping to stop constantly wondering.

A week from today I am hoping to stop doing my own "what can she see" tests.

A week from today we might rejoice and high five.
or
A week from today we might mourn.

Its scary how a day can have the potential to change your life and the life of your children. (I say children because it affects all of them.)

We've been here before. We've sat waiting for an appointment. For news. For something. For more than we know now.

And we've mourned.

This time is different though because we are holding Wren. When we found out about Tobys Spina Bifida he was only in my tummy for 20 weeks. We still had 20 weeks to adjust, to mourn and to let life stop a little.

I wish life could just stop right now. I wish I had the time and space to mourn. I know we dont know yet, but honestly I feel like I do. I could be so wrong. I could come back in 8 days and go, WOW I was so wrong. She can see fine. But really I dont think that will be the case. I see her next to other babies and just know.

But oh I will happily eat those words.

Just pray. As your life moves on and our life moves on. I'm asking you to pray. I dont want to hear how she will be fine. How God will heal her. How we shouldnt worry. I just ask you to pray.

This is the scary place. This is the terrifying place. This is the place of constant wonders, what ifs and what will we dos.  We will be past this place in a week.

We will be in a new place. But right now that place is scary because that place in unknown. 

3 comments:

Pat said...

Continuing to lift her up to our loving Father!!

Schuylar Crist said...

Ever keeping all of you in our prayers in the Crist household. God is in control and He will see it all through according to His plan. Keep trusting...

Bethany L. said...

Oh, Kari, I am praying, praying, and I will have David and others PRAY too.
I didn't know this was your fear. May God hold you this week in His loving arms of Peace.