Special needs his hard. Its hard hard stuff. Its exhausting and relentless. and sometimes ive had enough. I know there are moms out there that feel the same way Im feeling today.
I'm worn out of special needs....but not because of my child.... Because of you.
You. Insurance company that denies whatever they want whenever they want without seeing the whole picture. Who seems to think they should decipher what can help my son and what is not medially necessary.
You. Medical Supplier that can NEVER EVER seem to get our order right. Always something missing or wrong. You, who doesnt look at my child as a child who depends on you to get it right. You, who seems him as a name on a paper....if even that, maybe just a number.
You. Doctor who just tells me to ignore things. They arent a big deal, but never bother to explain what is going on. Who only wants to make decisions based on what will keep law suits at bay.
You. Hospital, who refuses to admit any wrong. Who refuses to see what ill trained and ill staffed hospitals can do to a child's life. Who thinks a simple letter is enough to brush us off and pacify us. You, who asks us to blindly trust you and yet never does anything to deserve our trust.
I'm tired. Exhausted. Burnt out and done in.
Its not the wheelchair. Its not the needs every 4 hours. Its not the late nights and the hard talks. Its not even the stares from others.
Its you. You are what makes our hard too hard to bear. Too much to handle and takes that last little bit of strength we have right out of us.
How many hours must we spend on the phone fighitng. arguing, double checking and convincing. And when that battle is done we know there is just another one around the corner. just another time to do it all over again. Do you have any idea what that feels like?
I'm tired, exhausted, burnt out and done in.
But you haven't heard the last of me.
because no matter what THIS is always worth fighting for!