Friday, June 26, 2015

I just can't

So I had quite a few friends share this story and I've seen praise after praise for this woman.  And I get it. I really really get it.  I do.  

But Holy Moly that story rubbed me the wrong way! If you don't want to read the story Ill give you my general run down.

First of all Morgan (the woman the story is about) posted the story on her own facebook page. Rubbing me wrong right here.  Its one thing to do something like this and have someone "catch" you in the act, its quite another to share a long emotionally driven post about it.

Secondly, can we just stop and say What the what??!! The man refused and she pushed his wheelchair anyways!!!  Let us all bow down and call you hero. Let us place flowers on your head and share your story in as many emotional ways as possible. You are amazing!   I just cant.

When I read that all I could picture was Toby. Toby when he refuses help and someone wont listen to him. Toby when all he wants to do is be the one to hold the door for someone and yet no one will let him. Toby who just wants to be left the stink alone. And this is just Toby as a child Toby. I cant imagine adult Toby in this situation.  I cant imagine my adult son just wanting to go grocery shopping and someone insisting on doing it all for him...PUSHING HIS CHAIR when he has said "no."

An adult with spina bifida the other day made a comment, she said. (and I'm paraphrasing cause really my memory is shot) I don't want to be your special needs trophy.

And boom. That was it. That's the phrase. The term. The let me barf in my mouth ideology.

When questioned the girl kept saying what a "humbling experience" all of this has been. Humbling enough to post about it?

I'm sorry I just cant jump on board. I cant wipe at my tears and smile and think awwwwwwww how sweet. Because all I can do is smile and think I hope Toby doesn't slug the person who tries that with him.

Don't make him your trophy.

And by the way over a year ago a man and his wife allowed Toby to hold the door for them without acting like it was a big deal. That is the hero. That is the humbling experience. That is when I smile with tears in my eyes. You are giving my son a chance to help not be helped. You are giving my child a chance to be a part of society and give back. Yea it was just a simple door hold, but seriously its been over a year..,possibly 2 or 3 and I still remember what this couple looks like.

So here it is. The opposite take on a story that I'm sure a lot of us have read about.  Maybe just think about both sides.  Maybe the no means no. And Ill give it to Morgan. I mean the man was touched. It worked out for her. But maybe the next time the no really really really means no and maybe you are robbing someone of their dignity and human experience by refusing to allow them to do it themselves.

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