Bruises

Can I just say sometimes I am not the perfect mom! I know it just shocks all of you to hear that! : ) But really sometimes I feel so far from it.

Yesterday Toby got to watch his mommy throw a bonafide temper tantrum. I write about this not because I'm proud or think its cute, but because I like to be super honest on all the aspects of my life with Toby.

We are really working on independence with Toby. Trying to get him to walk down hill on our driveway to go up to the van door, open it and then climb in, get in his seat, turn around and get buckled in (he can unbuckle just not quite buckle) Well, imagine trying to do this with a walker with four wheels and being three years old and trying to control yourself going down a slope. Doesnt really work out well. Well, for some reason lately Ive been getting hurt constantly by that walker. And as most of my friends know I have extremely low pain tolerance. To put it mildly. The other day he slammed his walker on the top of my foot and I ended up getting one nasty bruise on my foot. Well this day in particular he wasnt wanting to do ANYTHING himself. So he started being whiney about getting in the vain. Well, in all his complaining and worry he rammed his walker right into my shin. I immediately got super ticked off as I felt the large knot form and the almost instant bruise come into view. I totally lost my temper with him and got frustrated. In my head I was hating my life, hating his walker, and just hating the daily little struggles. I had a down right pitty party, bad attitude temper tantrum. Luckily most of what I was thinking wasnt coming out of my house. Nate, (My husband) who was sitting quietly in the front seat watching all this would have been shocked I'm sure. (or maybe not) Anyway, immediately I realized how wrong I was. It wasnt anyone's fault. Things happen. I should love that walker. I should kiss the people's feet of whoever invented that walker. That walker makes it where Toby CAN walk. A year ago Toby had a walker but never used it. I should be thankful that I have a son who is walking and using his walker at all. So much has changed this past year and if my biggest problem is having some big ugly bruises then hey I think (in hindsight) that's a pretty good trade off if you ask me!!

Comments

Scasmflops said…
Just wanted to say, this post blessed me. Thank you Kari, for being honest. I definitely need it. It encourages me... I have so many temper tantrums. :) But you are so right we have so very much to be thankful for. Some days we just have to look harder to find it. Love ya girl!
March 20, 2010 at 12:04 PM
Racerjack said…
If you didn't have an occasional (That is the key word,occasional) lapse of self control, you wouldn't be human. That doesn't mean you can go over board with it, but what you describe, we have all been guilty of. And I mean guilty of it. But because you realize when an over reaction has occurred, the only thing you can do is ask forgiveness of the person whom you offended. Sometimes it will be directed at those you love , even if they are not the ones who caused the frustration. How many times I have gotten upset with my wife for what one of the kids did or was doing, and visa versa. When you love someone, ask for it and then try to do better to change your behavior. Trying new things to correct or redirect what is causing our frustration help ease the severity and frequency of it. Help support your kids and spouse when you see them frustrated by things and they will most likely help you change your attitude when they see you getting on edge. Re- direction helps in most, not all, situations.
And yes you do have many things to be thankful for. Reflecting on those will help when you have time for it. So will giving your self and spouse time outs when you need to take them.

Take care and don't beat yourself up too much. Your doing a great job and helping others along the way.
March 20, 2010 at 3:40 PM
Racerjack said…
Just an aside comment if you will permit me.

I just got back from going to Des Moines this morning to speak to the Spina Bifida Assos. state conference. I talked to several potential athletes with a disability and their families about the sport camp we do each year at UNI for athletes with a lower limb disability.
They were very receptive and curious about what the camp could do for them. I had our nurse and one of our coaches there with me to speak to them. I love getting the young athletes and their parents interested in coming to camp and all that goes into helping make them more independent and living healthy lifestyles and gaining the self confidence to try new things. I see the future for our state when I see kids as young as three or four with the potential to become an athlete and the drive they have to play. We just need to keep developing opportunities for them to do more of it.

Check it out at "UNI Adapted Sports Camp" on Facebook. Share it with others you know that can benefit from it.
March 20, 2010 at 3:45 PM
Anonymous said…
Well, at least I know you're human! You made me laugh, even though that wasn't the intention I'm sure. It's just easier watching from my side, being your mom and all. But no matter, the good thing is, through it, you still were able to see the good. Being a parent really isn't easy. Being human (and committing our sins), sure reminds us of our need of a Savior! As a parent to you, it just reminded me of how much I loved to make your hurts better.

Love you,
Mom
March 20, 2010 at 8:58 PM
april said…
Thank you for sharing. I have more moments and days like that than I care to admit to. Parenting is so hard but your positive attitude is inspiring.
March 24, 2010 at 6:36 PM
Colleen said…
:) This happens to me ... occasionally ... too. :) I just wanted to say that I am impressed with and inspired by your independence goals for Toby. I can't figure out how Nate can climb in his carseat by himself, but that would be awesome.
April 6, 2010 at 7:19 PM
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