Today I was reading about Noah. I have heard this story again and again. I have even told this story again and again, but today it struck a chord.
Today was a lonely day when it comes to coping with Toby's care. Today felt like one of those "in the boat by myself kind of days." Today was one of those days when I wanted to sit on top of my house and scream out a long list of things I deal with day in and day out. I wasnt wanting to scream in the angry sort of way, but in the please can someone understand this. I am not just talking about the trials and the hard times, but even the triumphs, sometimes especially the triumphs. There are aspects of Toby's care that I don't share with others because Toby will not always be three and I want him to one day choose what he wants to share with people. Even in writing this blog there will be parts of Toby's life that will be a closed book, parts of his life that will be left for him alone. There are those days that making the choice to not share it all can seem incredibly lonely. Not because people don't want to care or might not know what to say, but because people can not know what to say or how to care because they truly do not understand.
Well, back to Noah. I was struck today but the fact that the task God gave him must have been at times a lonely one. In 100 years he did not have one person say "hey, I understand what youre going through. I know youve got to be tired of building and working." He did not have one convert in those 100 years, but he kept going. He kept at the task. I would imagine in those 100 years he wanted to stand on his rooftop and scream at everyone that it wasnt the easiest job in the world to be building an ark and to have no one not just not understand but to not even believe you. Wow! Now that's lonely. Im sure he would have been happy to have someone come along side him and just understand his job. When I say, 'understand' I dont mean a pat on the back, I mean truly just understand how hard the task is sometimes. Or even understand when he got a lot accomplished and had a wonderful day. I know if I had been Noah I would have wanted to give up in the first year, not to mention the 50th or the 99th. I think sometimes we over look the incredible faith and stamina Noah must have had because we are so focused on what happened after he built the ark.
I was encouraged by Noah continuing on for a hundred years doing the task that God had set before him. It's a simple as that. Noah didnt need recognition and someone to understand his frustrations, trials or even the triumphs of his day to day life of building the ark. He needed the grace of God and the power of God.
I am praying today that I will be like Noah. I pray that people will not look at my life and say, Wow, look how great Kari's doing, but will instead say, look how powerful God is in Kari's life.
2 Corinthians 4:7