It has taken me some time to decide to blog this or not. There are just certain parts of our lives that dont belong on blogs dont really need to be opened up for everyone to see, read or feel. But there are those parts that are still good to share whether or not they be hard.
Toby's birthday is in 6 days. Pretty big deal. It's the big 4!!!
Now I'm sure you are thinking that the last statement doesnt seem to go along with the first paragraph, but for me it does.
There is one problem with this birthday for me. 4 seems so much bigger than 3! This birthday is a big deal for me because I feel like the difference between Toby and other children will become more apparent. Yes, its only 6 days older than he is today, but now when someone asks I 'll have to say, "He's 4." And then you get the surprised look. The surprised look is always a bummer.
So even though his birthday in and of itself is incredible. I can remember being in the hospital with him like it was yesturday (and if you ask Larie that's pretty remarkable for my memory) The thought of his disability seeming .....stronger....that's not the right word, but I think you get it. Is a bummer.
As I write this out, I realize how incredibly flawed my thinking is. Isnt it funny when you see something written down that you realize how you arent focusing on the right thing. The last few days I've been focusing on the things Toby cant do. (I guess this proves I am not super mom) I've been focusing on the learning issues, the struggles, the hard parts. When in fact as it gets closer to his birthday I should be focused on all the things he CAN do.
So everyone, you are being a witness to a change in heart as I write. Funny how God works. Yes, this birthday will still be hard, yes it will still be a bummer to say that he's four and someone react shocked,but that's okay, because now im going to write a few of the things we have accomplished this year.... just a few.
Walking ALL THE TIME!!
Climbing in and out of his car seat
Going down a small step with his walker
Singing in the car
Wanting his braces on
Working on arm crutches
Putting the wheelchair in storage
So, looking at that list makes me realize.,,maybe three to four isnt so bad after all. we've had a pretty eventful year three!! Maybe four will be even better!!