Funny how the last post I wrote I thought we would have answers about Wren. And today I sit without answers for Wren AND Toby.
Such is life.
So todays post is for me. Really just some thoughts ive been thinking but want to put into sentences.
The dreaded blog post about FACEBOOK.
But this time I dont want to talk about being a "hands free mama" (though I love her posts) or talk about how awful facebook is.
I want to talk about trials and facebook.
Facebook has created quite the little phenomenon in the christian community. Especially for extroverts like myself.
We get to voice our thoughts way quicker to a way larger audience. When we get bad news, hard news, something hurts or we find out about a trial we can quickly update our status in our very raw emotional state and boom put it out there. We hurt. We are frustrated. We are sad. We are lonely. We are exhausted. We are scared. We are _____________________.
And its there for the something + friends you have to see it and to comment on it.
It makes our trials (at least for extroverts) be seen at every angle and at every point of the process. We rarely get the time to breathe, to think things through or to heavens....PRAY about something before we update our status as to what is going on.
Now let me say, of course there are lessons to be had about being careful about your words and turning to God and not to facebook. but let me also say facebook is there...its part of life...so we deal with it and we blog about it.
Facebook can and should be a beautiful tool of a place for Christian to pray for one another. Like really pray, not just "hey im praying" and never think twice about actually praying (been guilty of that myself)which is why i hate all the hating on facebook. its been an amazing resource for me.
But you know the raw posts dont get me. Because I get it. I get the process. Just because one second you are at the tip top of frustration doesnt mean you dont trust God. Just because another second you want answers from your child's doctor doesnt mean you dont have faith.
It means sometimes that we just want you to get it. To know. That we just need someone to know that its hard and say....Im sorry. Man that stinks..Man that hards. And we know that there are people out there, real true honest to goodness praying people out there. From a special needs mommy perspective sometimes this job is straight up lonely. Sometimes you can feel like no one gets it and you so desperately want someone to just get it. get that its hard.
But here's the problem. We open ourselves us to every comment out there. Every person who wants to take our post one way or the other...and well we choose to so its kind of our bad.
And oh do they. Every Bible verse. Every but God is good. Every but have faith as a mustard seed. Every be strong in the Lord. Every look on the bright side. Every at least your not ____________.Every comment that tries to steers us in the right direction.
I get it. I do. I get that everyone is well meaning with their Bible verses and their sweet words of, "just have faith as a mustard seed" but sometimes that just isnt what we need. I know I know you cant read our minds, you have no way to know exactly what helps and what doesnt. But sometimes our trial and our raw emotion facebook update isnt the time we need you to teach us. Isnt the time to remind of where we should be. Its the time to WAIT.
Wait for us. Bring us before the throne. Offer us extroverts that put everything out there some grace. Because chances are we are gonna get there. We are gonna breathe. We are gonna take a step back and go....well shoot that was slightly dramatic now wasnt it. Or ok...God is still good. Okay at least _________.
But let us feel the emotion...and let us just move passed it. Let us deal and cope. And pray. And wait.
Because it stinks to be in the middle of something and to feel like everyone is trying to teach you. everyone is trying to tell you how you should feel about it.
Maybe one day Ill learn and not put everything out there....but Ill say it once and Ill say it a thousand times probably.....There is beauty in the process. There is beauty in the getting to where God wants us and needs us to be.
PS Sometimes the best thing to say is, I'm sorry. No....its ALWAYS the best thing to say.