Friday, October 30, 2009

When you get surprised

So, today we had our appointment with Toby's Orthotics guy. (I can never remember what they are really called) I wanted him to check on the work the guy in Florida did and make sure he thought Toby's heel was getting better.

So out I march with three kids. Gracie, (who has a weird rash on her face) Toby,(who isnt happy about getting his braces worked on) and Milo (on his last diaper)

Oh and dont forget, Me. (whose coffee pot messed up and hadnt had a cup of coffee yet)

We were certainly a fun bunch.

So we get there and everything is going well. Jim gives us the go ahead to start wearing the braces again and works on one little piece. Before we leave we put Toby's braces back on.

At this point it had been over two weeks since the last time Toby wore the braces. It showed. He just broke down on my lap. He cried and cried. Part of it was just plain bad and part of it truly broke my heart. Life is so much easier for him without those braces. He can crawl around playing and do almost anything he wants, besides walking. He looks at those braces as something that is holding him back, not something that is helping him. He's three and just doesn't understand that he cant crawl around forever. Those braces weigh him down and make it so much harder for him, but the also give him the ability to stand, to walk and to experience things he would never be able to without those braces.

It has struck me plenty of times that there can be things God places in our lives for our good, but we just view them as getting in our way. I know that Toby's braces will make him stronger, but he doesnt. I believe it's the same way with us and God. God knows that our trials will make us stronger even if we view them as hurting us or keeping us from the life we want. I know that God has used trials in my life to allow me to experience a relationship with Him that I dont believe I would have ever experienced if not for those hard moments.

So, I'm sitting there holding my crying son while Jim is trying to talk to me about what is going on. One of Toby's knees is messing up, (he used a more medically correct term) He let me know that if we don't get him up and walking that its just going to be harder and harder to ever get him to that point. At this point now I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed by this thought, which is being magnified by Toby crying and now Milo has gotten in on the action.

This is where the surprise part comes in.

Jim stops and looks at me. He stops talking about how we need to push Toby to do more and says, "I think I'm getting a glimpse of what you are up against here." (refering to Toby's crying about the braces) "I know this must be hard and that as a mom you just want to take them off."

There was nothing poetic or incredibly deep in those two sentences, but they made big tears start filling my eyes. As I felt the tears I really thought, WHOA where is this coming from, but then I realized. Jim did something that not many people do in the medical community.

He took the time to validate how hard this was for me as a mom. He took the time to let it be not just about all the medical junk, but about the emotion behind it all. The fact that he recognized that, helped so much. In my life we havent been around many who are willing to take that step.

So for today, even with the rough morning, I am thankful. Thankful for a couple sentences that God used to help me be prepared for the next few days of getting Toby used to wearing his braces again.


Leigh and Andy said...

I can totally relate!! :) Just last week Greyson's therapist said something about me just wanting to play with him instead of always feeling stressed about therapy...her words were no big deal, but they really hit me. It's so nice to be validated as a mom. :) Just wanted to let you know that I'm following along right with you and love your blog! :)

Your friend from babycenter...

Colleen said...

That made me tear up cause I can totally relate to how overwhelming that appointment must have been and how hard it is to hear your baby cry but know that you have to keep pushing them anyway.

And I think it's orthotist. :)

Anonymous said...

You're doing a WONDERFUL job!