So today I found out that tomorrow is clinic day for Toby. About every 6 months we end up having a long day of appointments...tests, doctors, x rays and ct scans. The thing about these appointments is that the night before can easily put me into a panic.
I never know what tomorrow is going to hold. I don't know if tomorrow will be uneventful. If They will check everything and we will leave on the same road that we came on. Or if tomorrow will change the next days, weeks, months or even years. Walking into these appointments I always have in the back of my mind that they could find something on the CT Scan or see something else wrong. I never know when a new surgery will be scheduled or a new type of therapy will be added. The whole process of these days is overwhelming for me. I don't know if this will be the year that they have to sedate Toby for the tests, or if there will be a cute nurse that he will flirt shamelessly with. I guess that's the scary part. I just don't know anything going into them. Since they are so far apart there doesn't seem to be a general norm that I can get used to or that Toby can get used to. Don't get me wrong; I don't want them any closer together!!
Tonight I decide to tell Toby about going to the hospital in the morning. I thought that he was old enough to not be shocked tomorrow when he woke up and found himself on the way to see doctors and getting put into a CT machine. Maybe a bad decision on my part. He started crying and started saying that he wasn't sick. It's hard to explain to a three year old that they aren't sick but still need to see a doctor. Daddy of course was Daddy and distracted the destruction that Mommy created by promising to play a video game when he got home.
So for now, tomorrow is well...tomorrow...
I hope that tomorrow will be just a normal day of checking up or even a day of finding out good news. But there is always the chance that we will leave with a new mountain to climb over with Toby.
Please pray for Toby. Pray that he won't be scared. Pray that nothing will hurt.
Please pray for me. Pray that God will give me wisdom as I help Toby and try to teach him how to be brave but to rely on God for his strength.
Please pray for Milo. Pray that he will be good and patient through tomorrow.
Please pray for Gracie. Pray for Gracie's understanding through these appointments, pray for her patience, and pray for her to be the strong big sister.